There comes a time when you finally GET IT …. When fear is no longer plausible and the downward spiral stops … Then you know its time to say … NO MORE.
There has been more than enough commiserating, more than enough half truths unanswered questions and just plain lies. You spent too many hours crying inside so no one can see you’re fear and that you’re not so strong.
This is the time to clear your mind, to closely look at the players in your life. After days and weeks of separation you realize what once seemed normal has torn you apart. Only then you can see the World through clear lenses.
Now it’s time to stop hoping, waiting and praying for some miracle to change your path or magically give you happiness. Or for your life to some how have meaning with a side of sanity and security.
You also realize that the important people in your life are not perfect. There are no guarantees that they or you will always look out for each others best interests. Also, you realize that you are not perfect either and not everyone will come to love, understand and appreciate you.
People are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You must learn to be your own champion and as you evolve through these hard times a new found confidence will be born.
You find that complaining and blaming others for what they did or didn’t do really has no bearing. You learn that people don’t always mean what they say and promises are not binding. You know with out a doubt who is on your side, haven’t they’ve always been there. You really learn to stand on your own.
Then and only then will you feel safe and secure.
You will stop judging people and accept people for what they are. You will overlook human frailties and finally have a sense of peace.
You can finally see that you were looking at life through tainted lenses. Lenses that were marred by messages and opinions received distorting your vision.
You will begin to take note of every distorted opinion. This is how you should behave, this is how you should look, you’re too fat, and you wear the wrong clothes. How much money do you make, what do you drive, how big is your house and who are you indebted too.
You can now begin to redefine who you are and what you stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you develop an instinct of what’s real and what’s for show.
You learn that in order to receive you must first give.
You learn there is something to contributing too creation. You may stop floundering through life merely as a consumer. Always looking for the latest and greatest before your neighbor acquires it.
You will realize that honor; loyalty and integrity are not punch lines and still hold the key to what is real. They are the foundation on which one can live a fruitful life.
You will find out you don’t know everything and it is not your responsibility to save the World.
You will learn the difference between guilt and responsibility and the importance of living with in ones means.
You will learn the chip on your shoulder was placed there by you and only you.
You learn that relationships take work from both parties. And people don’t normally hold each other equally important.
You simply stop trying to control people, you let go of the strings.
Then and only then do you realize that alone doesn’t mean lonely.
You will stop working so hard always putting your feelings wants and desires before others, which is a good thing.
You will develop a feeling of entitlement. It is OK to want things, to ask for things. Sometimes you must demand things that are important.
You realize that you do deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect and you will accept nothing less.
Moreover, you realize that the body you’ve been mistreating all these years is your temple, your church, your synagogue and you begin to heal.
You learn that achievement is worth working for and wishing only delays the outcome.
Life isn’t always fair, you may not get what you think you deserve and sometimes bad things happen to good people.
Feelings of anger, resentment, and envy must be redirected or they each, in time will eat away at all that is you.
You must admit when you’re wrong and spend more time building bridges instead of walls.
Once this process is complete you will take comfort in simple things. Things that you already have and millions of men, women and children around the World don’t a full pantry, clean water, a warm bed and a hot shower.
From this point on take responsibility for yourself, and promise yourself to never betray what is real. “YOU”
Never settle for less than you deserve.
TAINTED LENS
WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU ...
It’s apparently clear that if you’re over the age of 45 your chances of being hired in this economic environment are slim to none. No Human Resource Director wants to interview you. Why, your resume is in line with the job qualifications, you want them to call your previous employer for a reference and your average length of employment is 10 years. What’s the problem?
I tell you the problem, if you’re over 40 you’re probably married with children (which increases health cost). You resume parallels the qualifications for the position (which means you will probably step on some ones toes). You invite them to call your previous employer (which means you’ll probably get a great reference). Shortest stay at a job is 10 years (which means if you’re hired, the position won’t be vacant until you die or get promoted). This is not a recipe for job security for the Hiring Manager or HR person.
Why wouldn’t you fill open positions with experienced qualified older workers? “Because they might work out, be productive and never leave. “Oh my, what will you do if employee turnover comes to a screeching halt?”
Company owners take heed, if your Hiring Manager or HR person suggests installing a revolving door for your new employee’s entrance that’s a sign. If you’re Hiring Manager or HR person was filling open positions with hard working experience personnel that buy into what you’re doing, there would be no reason to install that revolving door.
Ah Ha! So why hire the young and inexperience, they probably won’t stay very long and someone will have to continue hiring and administer those stupid personalities’ tests. You know the ones that you’re Hiring Manger or HR person suggested you subscribed too. You remember, the tests that would weed out bad candidates and cut down on turnover ultimately building a stable team so your company could prosper.
Human Resource is a dreamed up position from the 80’s by someone that probably couldn’t get a real job. They convinced some business owner that their knowledge of labor law and unemployment claims would save them time and money. Ultimately a cost effective way to protect the business owner from law suits. But in most cases they are not lawyers but they can hire one, so could you. So why not do the hiring yourself, it’s your business why trust someone else to pick your winning team?
Don’t get me wrong, you need someone to weed through the piles of resumes but ask yourself this question why don’t you ever see a resume from someone over the age of 45. Then ask your HR person to give you statistics on employee turn over since they‘ve been employed.
If want to see someone puke up a little in their mouth you will.
If you want your business to succeed take a chance on an older applicant. Ask for the resumes that reflect candidates that remember phones with cords attached. You may be surprised and thankful for what you find.
IN THE EYES OF MEN
You can see it in your neighborhood; the house on the corner seems empty. The lawn is over grown the bushes need trimming and a rope hangs from a branch that once ignited a child’s dreams of flying. At night not a single light is on. The darkness is haunting as happier memories fade into misery, embarrassment and hopelessness. Where did they go? No one knows as another family is added to a list of statistics.
You can see it on the driveways around your neighborhood, two cars sit silent instead of one. Neighbors watch knowing something is different hoping that Bill or Thomas across the cul-de-sac is vacationing or taking a leave absence instead of the alternative. After weeks pass the neighbor that shared a quick conversation with you is no longer there. In fact, he tries to avoid you always peeking out the window, making sure no one is walking their dogs or washing their cars before he dashes for the mail or evening paper.
You’ve seen it at the grocery stores, gas stations, and schools.
We now belong to a displaced generation, a group that doesn’t want to answer questions from neighbors, family or friends. Equally the neighbors, family and friends stop asking, “How’s the job search going?” In the grocery stores they walk the aisles expressionless avoiding eye contact with anyone that might ask, “How’s it going?”
Their eyes tell a story of anguish and depression longing for a break to do what they were meant to do, work. But they know there is no end in sight. CNN is reporting 10 % unemployment but some say it’s more like 15% maybe close to 20% in some states. The only recourse is to search and submit hoping for a reply from one of the one hundred résumé’s sent this month. If only the news would tell a real story, the story of a neighbor watching another home with overgrow scrubs and an uncut lawn. Another empty dwelling and a families dream put on hold. Tell the story of the rope swing that hangs still in the front yard.
If they could see through the eyes of men lost and alone not knowing were to turn.
If they could see through the eyes of men that want to provide comfort, security and to just feel worth again.
It’s now common to see men picking up children at school, shopping for food and driving through town during the day. It’s common, but it’s not right. They would rather be somewhere else earning, providing comforting. It’s been too long facing the morning with no purpose. It’s been too long to be able to plan beyond today. You can’t rationalize your way out of what only can be described as devastation.
Did it take 5 years after the Towers fell to really destroy our way of life? We watched as first responders resuscitated a nation. We supported decisions to help stimulate and revitalize. But we were blinded by our willingness to overcome adversity never seeing what really attacked us, the real weapon of mass destruction, ourselves. We were so sure we conquered evil rebounding after a massive attack never realizing the worst was yet to come.
Our enemies knew us all too well, the Trojan horse delivered on September 11th disguised as a single attack was never the real threat? It was our willingness to turn the page, move on, forget and start spending that lead us here. They knew we would do exactly that. Now we stand in line for another job that doesn’t exist. As we walk in the footsteps of men we never thought we’d follow.
As you step outside to get your mail or pick up the evening news paper you turn and look at the home that never really was yours. At least that’s what you tell yourself.
If they could see through the eyes of men that no longer blame anyone but themselves for letting it happen.
If they could see through the eyes of men that would sacrifice their sole just to be able to provide again.
If they could see through the eyes of men that would give back if only there was something to give.
If they could see through the eyes of men that have become irreversibly damaged by this economic reset yet must go on.
For the first time in our lifetime, we don’t know what the future holds in fact many don’t care anymore. What they do care about is someone stepping up and just telling us the truth, so that we all can just move on. The truth would not only set us free it would enable this displaced generation to see hope again in the eyes of men.
God Bless America
