This is a time of year when patients and understanding goes along way on the roads and highways in the Sunshine State. If you want to get a quick quart of milk or a pack of smokes from 7-Eleven chances are that 5 minutes trek will now take a little longer. The streets in Florida in normal conditions are more than sufficient for that quick commute to just about anywhere.
But these are not normal times; this time can only be defined with one word ‘SEASON’.
This time of year between (Super Bowl Sunday and Easter Sunday) is when restaurant owners and shop keepers see their bottom lines grow. Season is the equivalent to Black Friday and Cyber Monday for retailers.
But there are sacrifices to this phenomenon for residents living in the coastal communities of Florida. First and foremost it’s the traffic. There is no more jumping in a car and running up to 7-Eleven and being back before the commercials end. Oh no, in fact there are no more quick trips anywhere. You see our roads, streets and byways were designed and built when 80% of the habitable landscape was swamps and orange groves. There are some streets that still don’t have sewers. Making those homeowners fend for themselves when it comes time to that all important flush of their toilet. Most of us don’t know or care where last nights Paella goes. But there are some that know exactly where it flows, right to the drainage field in the backyard.
OK enough poop talk, back to the roads.
So as a community we must concede to our population tripling in size for 12 weeks and we adjust to the fact that the short run to store may take a few more minutes than normal. It’s also alright that some of the people visiting our state are senior citizens and drive a little slower or in some cases a little faster then we do.
I can’t speak for every Floridian, but some of us don’t like the ever popular Snowbird and those people take every opportunity to make their stay with us a living hell.
You see, I was sort of a Snowbird myself. When my family took the long ride down 95 to the Sunshine State we too were mesmerized by the sight of palm trees and coconuts. Or, the simple fact that it was possible for it to rain on one side of road and not the other. Most of us are very aware that the smell of suntan oil can make some people delirious, causing tourist to watch cranes fly toward the sea, instead of watching the road.
This brings me to the reason for writing this blog, car horns.
Just this week I was sitting at a traffic light making a left hand turn. The traffic was very heavy and I waiting until the light changed from green to amber before I made my move. Now granted, I was in the middle of the intersection and had no where to go, so when the on coming traffic slowed down I made the turn. This didn’t seem to bother anyone and I’m sure most of us have executed this maneuver one time or another. “Oh, I guess I’m committed, I have to go.”
I didn’t know there were two other cars behind me that rode my wake through the red light. Ok, we’ve all done that before as well.
However, before that second car crossed the walkway the vehicle going in the opposite direction deemed it necessary to lay down their horn. I guess to let those folks know a thing or two about proper road etiquette. Well those folks were about 90 years old and their car almost crashed into another because they were so freaked out. I guess if they crashed that guy blowing his horn would feel justification RIGHT (NOT).
This made me think about my own horn usage and I can honestly say except for the friendly double toot letting someone know the light has been green for at least 30 seconds I have never use my horn. That’s right 30 years of driving and I’ve never blasted someone for something I probably did the day before. When I asked a few people if they used their horns the answers was always the same, NO.
So as I was driving down the road the other day I thought about my horn and other peoples horns as I listened for one to see what kind of person utilizes their horn regularly. “Whoa, there goes one, oh that was just two friends saying hello.”
“There’s another one, oh that person was just sitting at the light by himself – weird.” Then it happened, I was in a congested flow of traffic. In front of me; an elderly couple in a big Buick, to the right, a young kid driving a small pickup and behind me a Mom and her kids in an SUV. Then a little car maybe an eclipse darted over to my lane then back again. Every move he made caused him to loose ground not gain it.
As we all traveled through a major intersection this little bastard changed lanes (which is illegal) and cut off large pickup truck. Well this pickup truck had one of those railroad horns (also illegal) installed and blasted one out. I almost soiled my pants and unfortunately the person in front of him was not the eclipse but the elderly couple. When I reached the next traffic light I was next to the elderly couple, the women was upset and the guy looked like he was having a heart attack. I rolled down my window and asked them if they were OK. I also explained to them that the blast was not meant for them but the little sports car that was now long gone. I think they felt a little better but I thought the guy in the truck should say something to them. So at the next light I made sure I was even with the pickup. I motioned for him to roll down his window. After explaining to him the situation he flipped me the bird. Before he left, I shouted “hey those horns are illegal in this State and I’ve got your plate number. So I hope I see you apologizing to those folks at the next light.” Well, his wife or girlfriend extended his previous reply and added a green loogie on my windshield. But something must have sunk-in because at the next light I could see he was talking with the old couple, small victories.
My research has taught me that car horns were installed for the safety of pedestrians and animals. In the early 1800’s horns were installed in self propelled vehicles so that pedestrians and horses could be alerted because the vehicles were difficult to stop. Well I think we’ve past the need to alert pedestrians and cattle because of our cars inability to stop. Why do we have car horns anyway? Is it to say hello to a passing friend, or scare the shit out of the person in front of you. If you use your horn, isn’t it too late anyway. Our reaction time is not that good to alert someone to avoid an accident or correct a traffic infraction.
The car horn in most cases is used improperly and probably causes more accidents then prevents them. What gives any of us the right to judge some ones driving skills when we damn well know we do the same things? Of course, if we fly through a red light or pass someone in an intersection and another driver horns their opinion our way, we call them assholes. Someone today blasted me at a four way stop thinking that the proper procedure was to yield to the car on the right. (WRONG) Four way stops, don’t get me started.
Anyway think about it. Do we need car horns? Listen the next time you’re driving not many people use them and the ones that do probably shouldn’t be driving in the first place. And for God sakes if you plan on coming down to the Sunshine State this winter look at the palm trees when you’re walking down our streets.
Does Your Horn Blow Too
Waiting To Exhale -- 2009
Another post employment morning, starting the day checking his email as he quickly deletes the spam and junk messages that seem to find their way through miles of fiber optic lines. It’s not a surprising to find nothing encouraging in the e-box. Of course there are suggestions on how to write the perfect resume and companies almost guaranteeing that they will hook him up with an interview for $29.95.
Nothing has changed much the last few months, except his role in the home. He is now the designate driver for the kids. Dropping them off and picking them up at school. He also spends a lot of time at the grocery stores finding deals on cheese and items listed as two for ones.
It’s hard being home all day, especially this long. It’s been six months since the layoff and time is running out, on everything. He made some tough choices about what little money was left and keeping his family together. Trying to maintain a worry free environment has been difficult.
At first it didn’t seem to bother the kids, Dad being home. But as weeks turned into months and the months will soon be a year even the youngest knows something is very wrong with this picture.
Trying to maintain a normal life for his family has been hard. He didn’t want his wife or children worrying about food or clothes or whether they would have a bed to sleep in. He knew keeping calm and not talking to them about it would work, in the short term. But now, he’s getting to the point were a true miracle would come in handy.
Putting off the creditors is easy, but putting off the bank holding the mortgage is a different story. He is currently 5 months behind; he is waiting for that knock on the door from the courts letting him know his presence is requested.
So with every new day comes a different set of problems. His family didn’t know that there are times when he doesn’t eat, because there simply was not enough food to go around. They didn’t know that he has used every dime including a large water jar of coins he’s been savings since high school for a trip to France. This was going to be a fiftieth birthday present to him. They don’t know that keeping the pool clean and the grass and bushes trimmed was only a mirage, smoke and mirrors so the neighbors don’t realize there’s a problem.
Remembering 2009, who wants too? The scares of 2009 will take years to heal. The worst part is, he knew it was going to happen. Like a nightmare, he was standing on a switch track at a rail station when suddenly the clamp closed on his foot. Locomotive 2009 was bearing down on him. At first it was just a small light in the distance slowly growing larger as the crept up to the present. Should he cut his foot off and save himself or wait? Wait to see if some miracle will happen. The train may screech to a halt, or change tracks. That’s how everyday of his life feels.
It’s been a long time since he had a good night sleep, even longer feeling good about the mornings. Hopefully the New Year will bring change and a little luck. Maybe something will take a little pressure off of him so he can enjoy the simple things in life again.
2011 can be a new start for everyone, one thing is fore sure he is not alone. Many people have been holding their breaths much longer than he has. Maybe, just maybe—2011w ill be the start of something new, something wonderful for us all
CAR REPAIR CHAIN SHOPS ARE WHORES
I can’t believe how dishonest car repair chains shops have become. I always take my car to this local guy that works out of his shop in a warehouse complex. He keeps his cost down and only takes cash.
Anyway, today I broke down right in front of an AAMCO repair shop. My serpentine belt broke which caused an increase in pressure cracking my radiator. AMMCO wanted $500 to do the repair.
It was then I remembered my car insurance covers towing. So I took my keys back and called road side assistance. They towed my car to my little old man for free. He replaced my radiator with a new one, change both belts. Put new pads on my back brakes and change my oil. Oh he also lubed my car as well.
$250 out the door, thank GOD I have an honest car repair guy. I hope he never dies.
MY GENERATION
Closing in on 50 we realize that being at the tail end of the baby boomer generation put us in a unique gray area between two very different groups. Most of us did not feel the wrath of the depression although our parents certainly did; they seemed to shield us from those horrifying times memories.
Yes we all heard the stories from our grand parents about food lines and pot luck dinners. I heard a story about people stealing the paper off of apples in the market to use as toilet paper. I heard about endless dinners of potato soup and leaks and I heard about how my grand mother killed my mother’s pet chicken for dinner one night. She never ate chicken again.
We came from modest middle class families wearing hand-me-down clothes and playing with passed down toys. But we had more than our parents did when they were children.
So what was our contribution, our obligation to the next generation?
We were taught that a penny saved is a penny earned. We were taught not to buy anything unless we had the cash to pay for it. We were also taught to help people less fortunate then ourselves.
The shield our parents held protecting us from the harsh realities of the depression dulled our sensibilities toward the possibility it may happen again. Did we do our job teaching the next generations the lessons from the past? Explaining to generation X and Y that hard work is the only way to succeed. Feeling good about your accomplishments is really the reward not your ability to put $1300 down on a $60k vehicle with a payment of $500 a month. To feel good about the fact no one gave you a free pass because of your hard work. Or did we sit back and let them create their own path? Hoping that they would find an easier way, a faster way to reach their goals and protect us in our old age.
We did sit back, and we gave them the reins too early. We didn’t spend enough time telling them, warning them about what could happen.
Credit Cards, Equity loans and leasing cars became the norm. By the end of the century most families were spending 1/3 more per month than their income. People were living on borrowed time and we all watched it happen.
What should my Generation do? We need to be heard, we need to take back the reins. We can’t spend or borrow our way out of this mess. There has to be a correction, a re-set on how we all live.
This is what my generation has to offer, only if we’re giving the opportunity. But it may be too late.
IN A BLINK
PAPER OR PLASTIC???
I for one, never thought this reusable sack thing was going to stay with us. Kind of like, right after 9-11 everyone was flying the American flag and now except for government buildings and banks you rarely see one.
I know how many landfills are over stuffed with plastic wares and how we must think about the earth and keeping her clean. I get it, but I also know that most plastic is recyclable and most plastic bags are made from other throw away plastic.
So, some marketing guru high in an office over looking ....Madison Ave.... came up with the idea of making store specific reusable sacks, each costing a dollar adding revenue to the bottom line. They knew that if enough people bought them it would also reduce the operational cost for the store.
I’m sure that Son of a Bitch took a Lear Jet down to the ....Bahamas.... and is sipping Pina-colada’s laughing his or her ass off right now.
So fine, we fell for it—Thanks Al Gore, spank me—may I have another.
All these bleeding heart liberals ran out and purchased reusable sacks from their favorites stores. When they’re on line they proudly pull them out – “No need to ask paper or plastic I have my reusable sacks!”
Of course, the worst scenario is having a husband and wife that shop at different stores. Now they acquire a collection of these reusable sacks. Yippee! So now when they load up for the week and have a full cart of groceries, they whip out their brightly colored—“I care for the environment and we’re trying to fight Global warming—multi-labeled sacks and hand them to the cashier.”
Look into the eyes of a cashier the next time you see this happen. They rather have two bricks smashed up against their skull than someone handing them a bunch of mis-shaped sacks from multi-stores. They struggle with them and begin loading groceries. They don’t hold much and you have to use twice as many.
Now what’s that mean to me? I tell you, I’m the guy behind you that has to wait until all of the sacks are separated and stuffed, which takes twice as long as shoving them into the recycled plastic bags in the first place.
If you really think your helping the environment buy using these reusable sacks, you’re kidding yourself. If it makes you feel good about yourself well then have at it. But the truth is your doing nothing but putting more money on the bottom line for your favorite grocer. Oh, and pissing off the people behind you.
So load your Prius up with your reusable sacks and have a nice day.
I think if this trend continues the grocery stores should have a separate check out lane for those who deem it necessary to purchase these sacks. Let’s call it the ....GREEN EXPRESS LANE..... Maybe then you’ll realize how long it takes to fill those sacks and be on your way. I will proudly remain in the plastic or paper lane waiting my turn to check out.
