The Best of Times -The Worst of Times

February 6th 2009:
As I carried 6 years of my professional life in two small boxes toward my car I felt nothing, no anger, no sadness, no disappointment. I knew the business was struggling for quite some time however like so many fools before me, I believed in the product, so I stayed.

The owner of the company became increasingly unavailable. When he was present he never extending any conversation beyond a hello or goodbye. When a situation mandated face time the conversation was brief. Note to self, when your boss deems it necessary to cocoon himself for extended periods of time, something is wrong.

His partner, whose work ethic equaled that of a politician tried to keep things light but it was easy to see through the forced smiles and overstated hellos. His dream of being a player in the world was slowly deteriorating. You could see it on his face, you could see it in the way he walked and ultimately you could hear it in his voice, something was terribly wrong.

The company was not failing from a lack effort or the existence of true talent. It was simply a boat with no rudder or sail. It lacked leadership and direction. For most of the last year it was difficult to enter the building and even more difficult to say anything positive about the situation. That’s one thing I won’t miss the negativity. It was corrosive, abusive and downright ugly at times. But it was all true.

My position was simple I offered basic business / management skills. I knew how to run a business and if I given the opportunity, who knows where that company would be right now. Unfortunately when you have two thirty something’s that think they know everything offering opinions and direction becomes futile.

It was quite surreal driving home in the opposite direction I was just driving an hour before. The only difference was the sun was high in the sky, not kissing the Gulf as I crossed the Skyway Bridge for the last time. I truly felt nothing, nothing toward the colleagues or boss I’ve been with every single day for the past 6 years. I also knew right then and there that I would never work for someone else again. It’s true what they say about working for others. What you give never equals what they take. You are just a number on a spread sheet at the end of the day.

I have always been able to find work relatively easy. However in my 35 years in business I’ve never seen the job market so thin. It is also difficult to take any interview given by a twenty something HR person or new promoted manager seriously. Watching them fumble through the routine hiring questions that you once used on others becomes irritating. When an interviewer seems more nervous then you there’s something wrong

Career Builder and Monster are useless in trying to find legitimate employment. I foresee the demise of both, but I still have to ask, why they are so popular? Then of course there are the website that will find you a job for $39.99. Don’t bother, you’ll waste time and money. So what can you do to find work?

The hardest thing about being unemployed is trying to keep your families spirits high. As the weeks turn into months my kids began to worry. Worry about things that you never want your kids to worry about. I knew it was getting bad when my daughter approached me and said. “Dad, don’t buy me any gifts for Christmas. Just make sure you get presents for Devin. (Her little brother)” I also realized my seventeen year old son wasn’t showering everyday. One day when I picked him up from school I smelled his dirty clothes. When I asked him why he wasn’t showering everyday or putting his clothes in the laundry he said, he was trying to save money. I also learned he stopped eating lunch at school, saving his lunch money in case we needed it. When I asked why, he told me he noticed sometimes I didn’t eat during dinner so he could go without lunch. I told him it was my choice to make sure there was enough for you kids. I ate; I just didn’t eat the same thing you did.

As the summer turned to fall Christmas was coming fast. I wanted to give my children a normal Christmas. So I took down the decorations from the attic and hung every Christmas light I could find. Our tree was put up before Thanksgiving and we were able to give the children a nice Christmas.

On New Years Eve I hoped and prayed for a better year to come. I watched as the kids played with their games and toys. I was able to give my daughter some new clothes which she proudly modeled. But as I watched the clocked ticked down to midnight I knew time was running out. If my prayers were not answered this coming year there was nothing I could do to shield my children.

This would be the last Christmas in our home. I also knew that sooner or later I would have to tell my children that we will have to move.

Well it’s February 6th 2010:
It’s been a year and I’m still unemployed and most likely going to loose my home. I only hope that I can maintain a positive outlook if not for me for my family. Because we used up most of our savings and equity in our home we can’t afford to pay for my son’s college next year. So he is considering joining the army. I will do what ever it takes to get him to change his mind. I know I could never live with myself in my son joins the service and goes to Afghanistan and dies.

I pray for better days. I pray for strength, but mostly I pray for my children so we can all get through this safely together.

Valentines Day Gifts for Men

I don’t know any man that cares about Valentines Day. It’s only a hassle for them to try and think up something for the wife or significant other. The only a women can give her man is ………. You know what he wants. That and only that he will remember.

The Four Way Stop

Approaching another cross road in life, I know it’s a cliché. We all reach them, we all have to deal with them and sometimes we don’t know when to go. You can really tell a lot about a person at a four way stop, especially if four vehicles arrive at the same time.

Some people wave everyone on proving one of two things. Either this person doesn’t really have to be anywhere. Or, they’re just so damn polite they yield to everyone.

Sometimes a person gets confused or they don’t pay attention when approaching a four-way stop. Either way they still have to know what to do. If they don’t, they will let everyone go just to save embarrassment.  

Then of course there’s the person that believes they should go first, no matter what. “Screw them all, I’m going, they’ll still be sitting there for another 10 minutes trying to figure out what to do!”

We also have the jigger bug, they approach everything cautiously. Pumping the brakes way too soon and inching their way up then stopping, inching a little more and stopping. Distraught and confused they just wave everyone one through showing their complete lack of confidence in the situation.

Another personality is the drifter. This person likes to approach any situation slowly. They press on their brakes way too soon coasting into the four way stop. In most cases they’re actually the first to arrive, but it takes so long for them to get to the line it causes confusion for everyone else.

Don’t forget the yield to the right guy. This person truly believes you are supposed to yield to the car on the right. But what if there are no cars at the four way stop. Do you wait for another vehicle to arrive? How can they move forward without first having the opportunity to yield? I guess they just wait until someone else arrives.

The two characters left are the live and die by the rotation of the earth and the movement of the sun people. First we have a person that thinks each car should take a turn in clockwise rotation order. Of course by the time everyone figures that out, more cars have arrived at the intersection. How should they handle the four way stop? Do they continue using the clockwise rule or do they go back to the first to arrive, the first to go rule.

The other earth clock disciples are completely opposite of their brethren. They believe the correct order is counter clockwise. This is really confusing when there are both types at a four way stop.

Most of us were taught how to drive many years ago. Trying to remember all the rules and proper procedures is difficult. That’s why we have signs telling us how fast we can go and warning us if there’s a curve in the road. But sometimes when we’re unsure we take the liberty to make up the rules as we go.

We do our best, using our intellect and experiences to handle all driving situations. But sometimes we just look like complete asses. Next time you approach a four way stop check out the other drivers and watch what they do.

Oh, by the way the rule is; first to arrive – first to go. That’s it.

Does Your Horn Blow Too

This is a time of year when patients and understanding goes along way on the roads and highways in the Sunshine State. If you want to get a quick quart of milk or a pack of smokes from 7-Eleven chances are that 5 minutes trek will now take a little longer. The streets in Florida in normal conditions are more than sufficient for that quick commute to just about anywhere.
But these are not normal times; this time can only be defined with one word ‘SEASON’.
This time of year between (Super Bowl Sunday and Easter Sunday) is when restaurant owners and shop keepers see their bottom lines grow. Season is the equivalent to Black Friday and Cyber Monday for retailers.
But there are sacrifices to this phenomenon for residents living in the coastal communities of Florida. First and foremost it’s the traffic. There is no more jumping in a car and running up to 7-Eleven and being back before the commercials end. Oh no, in fact there are no more quick trips anywhere. You see our roads, streets and byways were designed and built when 80% of the habitable landscape was swamps and orange groves. There are some streets that still don’t have sewers. Making those homeowners fend for themselves when it comes time to that all important flush of their toilet. Most of us don’t know or care where last nights Paella goes. But there are some that know exactly where it flows, right to the drainage field in the backyard.
OK enough poop talk, back to the roads.
So as a community we must concede to our population tripling in size for 12 weeks and we adjust to the fact that the short run to store may take a few more minutes than normal. It’s also alright that some of the people visiting our state are senior citizens and drive a little slower or in some cases a little faster then we do.
I can’t speak for every Floridian, but some of us don’t like the ever popular Snowbird and those people take every opportunity to make their stay with us a living hell.
You see, I was sort of a Snowbird myself. When my family took the long ride down 95 to the Sunshine State we too were mesmerized by the sight of palm trees and coconuts. Or, the simple fact that it was possible for it to rain on one side of road and not the other. Most of us are very aware that the smell of suntan oil can make some people delirious, causing tourist to watch cranes fly toward the sea, instead of watching the road.
This brings me to the reason for writing this blog, car horns.
Just this week I was sitting at a traffic light making a left hand turn. The traffic was very heavy and I waiting until the light changed from green to amber before I made my move. Now granted, I was in the middle of the intersection and had no where to go, so when the on coming traffic slowed down I made the turn. This didn’t seem to bother anyone and I’m sure most of us have executed this maneuver one time or another. “Oh, I guess I’m committed, I have to go.”
I didn’t know there were two other cars behind me that rode my wake through the red light. Ok, we’ve all done that before as well.
However, before that second car crossed the walkway the vehicle going in the opposite direction deemed it necessary to lay down their horn. I guess to let those folks know a thing or two about proper road etiquette. Well those folks were about 90 years old and their car almost crashed into another because they were so freaked out. I guess if they crashed that guy blowing his horn would feel justification RIGHT (NOT).
This made me think about my own horn usage and I can honestly say except for the friendly double toot letting someone know the light has been green for at least 30 seconds I have never use my horn. That’s right 30 years of driving and I’ve never blasted someone for something I probably did the day before. When I asked a few people if they used their horns the answers was always the same, NO.
So as I was driving down the road the other day I thought about my horn and other peoples horns as I listened for one to see what kind of person utilizes their horn regularly. “Whoa, there goes one, oh that was just two friends saying hello.”
“There’s another one, oh that person was just sitting at the light by himself – weird.” Then it happened, I was in a congested flow of traffic. In front of me; an elderly couple in a big Buick, to the right, a young kid driving a small pickup and behind me a Mom and her kids in an SUV. Then a little car maybe an eclipse darted over to my lane then back again. Every move he made caused him to loose ground not gain it.
As we all traveled through a major intersection this little bastard changed lanes (which is illegal) and cut off large pickup truck. Well this pickup truck had one of those railroad horns (also illegal) installed and blasted one out. I almost soiled my pants and unfortunately the person in front of him was not the eclipse but the elderly couple. When I reached the next traffic light I was next to the elderly couple, the women was upset and the guy looked like he was having a heart attack. I rolled down my window and asked them if they were OK. I also explained to them that the blast was not meant for them but the little sports car that was now long gone. I think they felt a little better but I thought the guy in the truck should say something to them. So at the next light I made sure I was even with the pickup. I motioned for him to roll down his window. After explaining to him the situation he flipped me the bird. Before he left, I shouted “hey those horns are illegal in this State and I’ve got your plate number. So I hope I see you apologizing to those folks at the next light.” Well, his wife or girlfriend extended his previous reply and added a green loogie on my windshield. But something must have sunk-in because at the next light I could see he was talking with the old couple, small victories.
My research has taught me that car horns were installed for the safety of pedestrians and animals. In the early 1800’s horns were installed in self propelled vehicles so that pedestrians and horses could be alerted because the vehicles were difficult to stop. Well I think we’ve past the need to alert pedestrians and cattle because of our cars inability to stop. Why do we have car horns anyway? Is it to say hello to a passing friend, or scare the shit out of the person in front of you. If you use your horn, isn’t it too late anyway. Our reaction time is not that good to alert someone to avoid an accident or correct a traffic infraction.
The car horn in most cases is used improperly and probably causes more accidents then prevents them. What gives any of us the right to judge some ones driving skills when we damn well know we do the same things? Of course, if we fly through a red light or pass someone in an intersection and another driver horns their opinion our way, we call them assholes. Someone today blasted me at a four way stop thinking that the proper procedure was to yield to the car on the right. (WRONG) Four way stops, don’t get me started.
Anyway think about it. Do we need car horns? Listen the next time you’re driving not many people use them and the ones that do probably shouldn’t be driving in the first place. And for God sakes if you plan on coming down to the Sunshine State this winter look at the palm trees when you’re walking down our streets.

Waiting To Exhale -- 2009

Another post employment morning, starting the day checking his email as he quickly deletes the spam and junk messages that seem to find their way through miles of fiber optic lines. It’s not a surprising to find nothing encouraging in the e-box. Of course there are suggestions on how to write the perfect resume and companies almost guaranteeing that they will hook him up with an interview for $29.95.
Nothing has changed much the last few months, except his role in the home. He is now the designate driver for the kids. Dropping them off and picking them up at school. He also spends a lot of time at the grocery stores finding deals on cheese and items listed as two for ones.
It’s hard being home all day, especially this long. It’s been six months since the layoff and time is running out, on everything. He made some tough choices about what little money was left and keeping his family together. Trying to maintain a worry free environment has been difficult.
At first it didn’t seem to bother the kids, Dad being home. But as weeks turned into months and the months will soon be a year even the youngest knows something is very wrong with this picture.
Trying to maintain a normal life for his family has been hard. He didn’t want his wife or children worrying about food or clothes or whether they would have a bed to sleep in. He knew keeping calm and not talking to them about it would work, in the short term. But now, he’s getting to the point were a true miracle would come in handy.
Putting off the creditors is easy, but putting off the bank holding the mortgage is a different story. He is currently 5 months behind; he is waiting for that knock on the door from the courts letting him know his presence is requested.
So with every new day comes a different set of problems. His family didn’t know that there are times when he doesn’t eat, because there simply was not enough food to go around. They didn’t know that he has used every dime including a large water jar of coins he’s been savings since high school for a trip to France. This was going to be a fiftieth birthday present to him. They don’t know that keeping the pool clean and the grass and bushes trimmed was only a mirage, smoke and mirrors so the neighbors don’t realize there’s a problem.
Remembering 2009, who wants too? The scares of 2009 will take years to heal. The worst part is, he knew it was going to happen. Like a nightmare, he was standing on a switch track at a rail station when suddenly the clamp closed on his foot. Locomotive 2009 was bearing down on him. At first it was just a small light in the distance slowly growing larger as the crept up to the present. Should he cut his foot off and save himself or wait? Wait to see if some miracle will happen. The train may screech to a halt, or change tracks. That’s how everyday of his life feels.
It’s been a long time since he had a good night sleep, even longer feeling good about the mornings. Hopefully the New Year will bring change and a little luck. Maybe something will take a little pressure off of him so he can enjoy the simple things in life again.
2011 can be a new start for everyone, one thing is fore sure he is not alone. Many people have been holding their breaths much longer than he has. Maybe, just maybe—2011w ill be the start of something new, something wonderful for us all

CAR REPAIR CHAIN SHOPS ARE WHORES

I can’t believe how dishonest car repair chains shops have become. I always take my car to this local guy that works out of his shop in a warehouse complex. He keeps his cost down and only takes cash.

Anyway, today I broke down right in front of an AAMCO repair shop. My serpentine belt broke which caused an increase in pressure cracking my radiator. AMMCO wanted $500 to do the repair.

It was then I remembered my car insurance covers towing. So I took my keys back and called road side assistance. They towed my car to my little old man for free. He replaced my radiator with a new one, change both belts. Put new pads on my back brakes and change my oil. Oh he also lubed my car as well.

$250 out the door, thank GOD I have an honest car repair guy. I hope he never dies.

MY GENERATION

Closing in on 50 we realize that being at the tail end of the baby boomer generation put us in a unique gray area between two very different groups. Most of us did not feel the wrath of the depression although our parents certainly did; they seemed to shield us from those horrifying times memories.
Yes we all heard the stories from our grand parents about food lines and pot luck dinners. I heard a story about people stealing the paper off of apples in the market to use as toilet paper. I heard about endless dinners of potato soup and leaks and I heard about how my grand mother killed my mother’s pet chicken for dinner one night. She never ate chicken again.
We came from modest middle class families wearing hand-me-down clothes and playing with passed down toys. But we had more than our parents did when they were children.
So what was our contribution, our obligation to the next generation?
We were taught that a penny saved is a penny earned. We were taught not to buy anything unless we had the cash to pay for it. We were also taught to help people less fortunate then ourselves.
The shield our parents held protecting us from the harsh realities of the depression dulled our sensibilities toward the possibility it may happen again. Did we do our job teaching the next generations the lessons from the past? Explaining to generation X and Y that hard work is the only way to succeed. Feeling good about your accomplishments is really the reward not your ability to put $1300 down on a $60k vehicle with a payment of $500 a month. To feel good about the fact no one gave you a free pass because of your hard work. Or did we sit back and let them create their own path? Hoping that they would find an easier way, a faster way to reach their goals and protect us in our old age.
We did sit back, and we gave them the reins too early. We didn’t spend enough time telling them, warning them about what could happen.
Credit Cards, Equity loans and leasing cars became the norm. By the end of the century most families were spending 1/3 more per month than their income. People were living on borrowed time and we all watched it happen.
What should my Generation do? We need to be heard, we need to take back the reins. We can’t spend or borrow our way out of this mess. There has to be a correction, a re-set on how we all live.
This is what my generation has to offer, only if we’re giving the opportunity. But it may be too late.