Waiting To Exhale -- 2009

Another post employment morning, starting the day checking his email as he quickly deletes the spam and junk messages that seem to find their way through miles of fiber optic lines. It’s not a surprising to find nothing encouraging in the e-box. Of course there are suggestions on how to write the perfect resume and companies almost guaranteeing that they will hook him up with an interview for $29.95.
Nothing has changed much the last few months, except his role in the home. He is now the designate driver for the kids. Dropping them off and picking them up at school. He also spends a lot of time at the grocery stores finding deals on cheese and items listed as two for ones.
It’s hard being home all day, especially this long. It’s been six months since the layoff and time is running out, on everything. He made some tough choices about what little money was left and keeping his family together. Trying to maintain a worry free environment has been difficult.
At first it didn’t seem to bother the kids, Dad being home. But as weeks turned into months and the months will soon be a year even the youngest knows something is very wrong with this picture.
Trying to maintain a normal life for his family has been hard. He didn’t want his wife or children worrying about food or clothes or whether they would have a bed to sleep in. He knew keeping calm and not talking to them about it would work, in the short term. But now, he’s getting to the point were a true miracle would come in handy.
Putting off the creditors is easy, but putting off the bank holding the mortgage is a different story. He is currently 5 months behind; he is waiting for that knock on the door from the courts letting him know his presence is requested.
So with every new day comes a different set of problems. His family didn’t know that there are times when he doesn’t eat, because there simply was not enough food to go around. They didn’t know that he has used every dime including a large water jar of coins he’s been savings since high school for a trip to France. This was going to be a fiftieth birthday present to him. They don’t know that keeping the pool clean and the grass and bushes trimmed was only a mirage, smoke and mirrors so the neighbors don’t realize there’s a problem.
Remembering 2009, who wants too? The scares of 2009 will take years to heal. The worst part is, he knew it was going to happen. Like a nightmare, he was standing on a switch track at a rail station when suddenly the clamp closed on his foot. Locomotive 2009 was bearing down on him. At first it was just a small light in the distance slowly growing larger as the crept up to the present. Should he cut his foot off and save himself or wait? Wait to see if some miracle will happen. The train may screech to a halt, or change tracks. That’s how everyday of his life feels.
It’s been a long time since he had a good night sleep, even longer feeling good about the mornings. Hopefully the New Year will bring change and a little luck. Maybe something will take a little pressure off of him so he can enjoy the simple things in life again.
2011 can be a new start for everyone, one thing is fore sure he is not alone. Many people have been holding their breaths much longer than he has. Maybe, just maybe—2011w ill be the start of something new, something wonderful for us all