There comes a time when you finally GET IT …. When fear is no longer plausible and the downward spiral stops … Then you know its time to say … NO MORE.

There has been more than enough commiserating, more than enough half truths unanswered questions and just plain lies. You spent too many hours crying inside so no one can see you’re fear and that you’re not so strong.

This is the time to clear your mind, to closely look at the players in your life. After days and weeks of separation you realize what once seemed normal has torn you apart. Only then you can see the World through clear lenses.

Now it’s time to stop hoping, waiting and praying for some miracle to change your path or magically give you happiness. Or for your life to some how have meaning with a side of sanity and security.

You also realize that the important people in your life are not perfect. There are no guarantees that they or you will always look out for each others best interests. Also, you realize that you are not perfect either and not everyone will come to love, understand and appreciate you.

People are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You must learn to be your own champion and as you evolve through these hard times a new found confidence will be born.

You find that complaining and blaming others for what they did or didn’t do really has no bearing. You learn that people don’t always mean what they say and promises are not binding. You know with out a doubt who is on your side, haven’t they’ve always been there. You really learn to stand on your own.

Then and only then will you feel safe and secure.

You will stop judging people and accept people for what they are. You will overlook human frailties and finally have a sense of peace.

You can finally see that you were looking at life through tainted lenses. Lenses that were marred by messages and opinions received distorting your vision.

You will begin to take note of every distorted opinion. This is how you should behave, this is how you should look, you’re too fat, and you wear the wrong clothes. How much money do you make, what do you drive, how big is your house and who are you indebted too.

You can now begin to redefine who you are and what you stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you develop an instinct of what’s real and what’s for show.

You learn that in order to receive you must first give.

You learn there is something to contributing too creation. You may stop floundering through life merely as a consumer. Always looking for the latest and greatest before your neighbor acquires it.

You will realize that honor; loyalty and integrity are not punch lines and still hold the key to what is real. They are the foundation on which one can live a fruitful life.

You will find out you don’t know everything and it is not your responsibility to save the World.

You will learn the difference between guilt and responsibility and the importance of living with in ones means.

You will learn the chip on your shoulder was placed there by you and only you.

You learn that relationships take work from both parties. And people don’t normally hold each other equally important.

You simply stop trying to control people, you let go of the strings.

Then and only then do you realize that alone doesn’t mean lonely.

You will stop working so hard always putting your feelings wants and desires before others, which is a good thing.

You will develop a feeling of entitlement. It is OK to want things, to ask for things. Sometimes you must demand things that are important.

You realize that you do deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect and you will accept nothing less.

Moreover, you realize that the body you’ve been mistreating all these years is your temple, your church, your synagogue and you begin to heal.

You learn that achievement is worth working for and wishing only delays the outcome.

Life isn’t always fair, you may not get what you think you deserve and sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Feelings of anger, resentment, and envy must be redirected or they each, in time will eat away at all that is you.

You must admit when you’re wrong and spend more time building bridges instead of walls.

Once this process is complete you will take comfort in simple things. Things that you already have and millions of men, women and children around the World don’t a full pantry, clean water, a warm bed and a hot shower.

From this point on take responsibility for yourself, and promise yourself to never betray what is real. “YOU”

Never settle for less than you deserve.